I know it’s been forever since I’ve blogged and this post isn’t going to be terribly exciting but I need a little encouragement. I just need to vent a little and get some things off my chest.
My sister has lived in the neighborhood across from mine for the last 8 years or so. It has been wonderful. Three of our children are within 3 months of each other in age. We have spent a lot of time together and were always there for each other when help or emotional support was needed. We became best friends, even though we are 5 years apart in age. It has been a wonderful 8 years.
Yesterday she moved to Utah. Six hours away! My heart is broken and I find myself unable to function. I am so sad. See, the thing is, I have other friends. But not a best friend. Not a sister-friend. There is nothing like it. She was my person. She was the person who “sees” me, if that makes any sense. She was the one who noticed when I wasn’t fine even when I said I was. She was the one who brought me a treat just because she loves me. She was the one I could call at the last minute to watch my kids. She was the one who had my kids over all day so I could rest when I was sick. She was the one who included me. She was the one who sat with me at church. She understands me like no one else does. She knows my heart. And now she is gone. And as soon as she left I felt lonelier already knowing she wasn’t in the next neighborhood.
My heart is broken. I know life will go on and it will all be ok but right now I feel like I can’t go on. And I feel overwhelmed by everything else in my life. I have a lot to do in the next week before we leave on vacation. When we get back, school will be starting and I am not ready. I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now and no fork to start eating with. Or maybe I just can’t figure out what to eat first. Or maybe I just don’t have enough energy to get the food from the plate to my mouth. I am tired. I am worn out. I am sad.
Thanks for letting me vent about this. I just needed to lay it out there. I can’t talk about it to anyone in person because even just typing it tears were streaming down my face. I would not be able to get the words out. So, thanks for letting me share.